"People sleep peaceably in their beds at night because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm" - George Orwell

Friday, December 14, 2012


Motoring down I-10 west and I see the lights ! Red , blue , you know. Pull over and shut it off , hands on the wheel.
Officer-Do you know how fast you were going ?
Me-Yes , 80 in a 65.....!
Officer-May I see your license.......?
Me-Don't got one , suspended.....!
Officer-Call for back up bla bla bla,,! May I see your registration and insurance papers ...?
Me-It's not my car ....!
Officer-Well who's car is it ?
Me-Some lady I jacked it from but I do remember seeing some papers in the glove box when I stuck my pistol in it ...!
Officer-You have a pistol in the glove box...?
Me-Yes , the one I used to jack the car from that lady in the trunk...!
Officer-You have a lady in the trunk........? !

Back-up shows up and it's his Captain which they proceed to throw me on the ground and cuff me....! They have a little secret conversation , search me and find my wallet...!

Officer-looks through the wallet and says , his license is good!
Captain-There's no gun in the glove box and here are the papers , registration and insurance.....!
Captain-opens the trunk and "Hey , there ain't no lady in this trunk........?
Me- Yeah ,the lying Son-of-a-bitch probably said I was speeding or something too...........!


  1. Very old, but very happy reading. Due to lousy channels, we've been watching COPS and ALASKA STATE TROOPERS for too long. The amazing situation that is always repeated when they pull over someone:

    "Why isn't there a key in the ignition?"

    "I start it with a screwdriver."

    "YOUR car?"

    "My girlfriend's."

    "What's her name?"


    "You don't know your girlfriend's name?"


    "Why is there a crack pipe in your pants pocket?"

    "These aren't my pants!"


    1. It's a joke, but I had a car that I started that way. :D